Sams Story
There are several key people Sam credits with understanding and helping her in the years since she was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, which involved symptoms of Schizophrenia and a mood disorder.
Working at a Melbourne hospital, she had 'the best manager I could have had’.
‘I ended up disclosing not all the details but bits and pieces, that I had a mental illness background,’ Sam says. ‘She acknowledged it, but didn’t make it the issue. She was one of those managers that pushed you to your limits, but also supported at the same time.’
It’s been a difficult road for Sam, who these days lives in an inner-city suburb with her partner, their young daughter, and baby boy.
As a teenager there were big ups and downs amid family tension and, eventually, the need to leave home at 15. She lived in a youth refuge and alternative accommodation for a couple of years. She self-harmed and there were suicide attempts.
‘Without the support I received – particularly early on – I’d be on a very different path', she says. ‘I went to a fantastic supportive school and without them, I don’t think I would have made it through.’
At 16 she was diagnosed.
‘For me the diagnosis was a relief, of sorts. I like to read and research and know. Having that knowledge, I was able to identify different things I could do to improve.'
After university, Sam worked as a flight attendant. She did not tell her employer she was on medication. ‘I was afraid I wasn’t going to get a job.’ While working there, she met her partner, a pilot. He’s based in Adelaide and commutes. ‘It’s only an hour away,’ she says.
‘Over the years I’ve shared my experiences. I enjoy getting out there and speaking, showing that everyone has their up and down days, whether they’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness or not, that there are things you can do.’
‘Within the first couple of weeks there were people posting that they’ve been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder,’ she says. ‘Having been diagnosed a long time ago with it and not knowing anyone else with that diagnosis, it’s fantastic to know you’re not alone.’
Sam believes the more stories about what support is available the better. ‘In saying that, I think the onus needs to be on the individual to accept responsibility for not being well, and coming up with solutions to make it work and not relying on your employer to come up with all the solutions.’
As we become better at telling stories about mental health, Sam believes some positives might have come from the death of Robin Williams. ‘I was a big fan of Robin Williams and with his unfortunate death I think there is some good in the community seeing there are other sides to people you wouldn’t expect.’
Sam is in a good place, which hasn’t always been the case. She knows there are all sorts of methods to put life in perspective. For Sam, that includes occasionally looking at the suicide notes she once wrote. ‘When I felt that way before, I’ve read my notes and realised that what I’m going through at that particular time is not as bad as what I seemed to feel all those years ago.’
Now, caring for her children, ‘It’s pretty full on,’ she says, Sam has several strategies for finding calm when she feels unwell. ‘I’ve found more manageable, healthy options.’ One is music. She says she might not be able to sing very well, but is convinced of the power of music to help heal and calm.
She has an 'angry' list of songs on her iPod which she sings along to. ‘It’s releasing – singing, screaming. It worked. It calmed me down.’
Another calming strategy is to go for a drive or read historical novels. ‘It transports me to a place where I can forget about the world,’ she says.
Sam is a passionate and articulate advocate for the power of sharing experiences. ‘In terms of therapy I have found speaking about my experiences has helped me.’ It has, she says, relieved ‘that burden of feeling like you’re alone’.