Tom's Story
Tom was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia
when he was ten. He always had trouble in school and dropped out of
community college to help his father out in an auto mechanic shop. Tom has never been short on friends
though. Tom is charming, has lots of great ideas, is willing to try new
things, and is a great comedian. His wife, Emma, met him in college and
described him as the life of the party and "wildly romantic." He would
call her, take her for late night walks on the beach, and surprise her
with flowers and chocolates. She is very proud of him. Despite having
ADHD and dyslexia and dropping out of college, Tom read a number of
books about electronics and computer technology and was able to get a
job as a salesperson.
While Emma and Tom say they both still love each other, their marriage is falling apart. Emma says that Tom appears to have lost his love for her. Their energetic two year-old son, Brady, proves to be quite a handful for Emma, on top of her daily household chores. In need of her husband's help with such responsibilities, Emma frequently asks Tom to pick up some groceries or possibly the dry-cleaning. However, Tom always comes home empty-handed, giving her the excuse that he "forgot." He also has a tendency to come home extremely late most nights, stating he was out with "the guys." It is hard for Emma to understand her husband's actions and she attributes his "forgetfulness" and his frequent late nights with "the guys" to a lack of love for her. Tom's response is that he still loves his wife, but just finds it hard to remember his responsibilities or periodically runs into friends and loses track of time.
Emma is also worried about her family's financial situation. Tom left his sales job last year in order to start his own business. Tom possesses a creative mind and is able to brainstorm a number of great business ideas. However, his lack of organizational skills prevents him from putting his plans into action. As a result of attempting to pursue his most recent business idea, Tom ran up their credit card bill and, in the end, the idea failed. Because of their financial problems, Emma has been working full-time in a department store while her mother watches Brady. Despite this, the credit card bills still remain unpaid.
When they first met with a marriage counselor, the marriage counselor asked what treatment strategies Tom was using to manage his ADHD symptoms. Tom and Emma were both surprised at the question. While Tom was on methylphenidate for a couple of years as a child, he stopped medication around age 14 when his doctor said that he had "outgrown" ADHD and did not need to be on it anymore. The marriage counselor suggested that many of Tom's challenges may, in fact, be related to his ADHD and suggested he see a physician. It was not easy for Tom and Emma to find a doctor who was comfortable treating ADHD in adults. To this day, the marriage counselor continues to work with Tom and Emma on dealing with the challenges that ADHD may bring to a marriage.